Some Best Practices for Being a Decent Human Being

Everywhere you turn these days, you see best practices for this or that, but do you find best practices for being a decent human besides religious text?  This post looks at the points that I think are important for being a good human being.

This, before all else: To thine own self be true

When I say this, I am not suggesting one should just run amuck, wreaking havoc hither and thither.  I am talking about standing firm in one’s ideals and principles.  I read the news or watch videos talking about the terrible things some people do and how they are merely victims themselves, shaped by their environment.  I am sorry, but there are some boundaries I simply will never cross, no matter what: crimes against children and animals, murder, rape, psychological torture – things of this nature, things that the average person knows is wrong, things that you don’t need someone else to tell you are wrong.  Never let the threat of blackmail or even death force you to compromise your principles. Period.  Stay true to yourself, no matter what.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

This point is pretty self-explanatory, but allow me to elaborate.  Don’t do anything to anyone else that you wouldn’t want done to you in return.  For example,  if you don’t enjoy the pain, heartbreak, and feelings of betrayal associated with being cheated on by your significant other or spouse, don’t cheat.  If you don’t like replacing stolen possessions or fortifying your home to prevent break-ins and theft, don’t steal from others.  If you don’t want to suffer physical, emotional, or psychological abuse at the hands of another, don’t be an abuser.  The list of examples goes on.

If, on the other hand, you want to be treated with respect, loved unconditionally, valued, and so forth, treat others with respect and dignity, love unconditionally, show appreciation for others, and more.  They may not give these things back to you, but you at least can look yourself in the eye at night and sleep well knowing you conducted yourself honorably throughout the day.

Practice random acts of kindness

Kindness isn’t done for recognition.  Kindness comes from doing the right thing, from helping someone else, without recognition or public approval.  You do it because you were inspired at that moment to do so.  Examples from my experience include buying a cheeseburger for a guy I saw last week holding a sign asking for help. He looked hungry, so I bought him a cheeseburger, which surprised him. 

Several months ago, my daughter and I witnessed a man in front of a mini market scrambling to collect his belongings from the sidewalk because two men were berating him for being in their way.  I will never forget the pain and embarrassment in that man’s eyes.  I was so moved that I stuck my head out the window and told the man to stay strong, to keep his head held high no matter what, and that he deserved the same dignity and respect as any human being, regardless of life’s circumstances.  Then, my daughter gave him some money, every dime she had. You wouldn’t believe how grateful he was for a little unexpected kindness.

 I tell you about these examples not because I seek your admiration or approval but to illustrate my point.  Every act of kindness we do makes a difference, no matter how big or small the act.

I want to add that random acts of kindness are not exclusive to just strangers but are great for people you know.  One example is making your spouse or partner his or her favorite dish for dinner simply because you know how much he or she likes it.  Another might be making a gift for a friend out of the blue or doing something nice for them as a token of appreciation.  The list of possibilities is endless. 

If you see a piece of trash on the ground, pick it up

No matter where you live, you will always encounter someone else’s trash.  It doesn’t matter if it is yours; if you see it, pick it up.  You are probably mistaken if you think the next person who comes along will take care of it.  This phenomenon of “let someone else do it” contributes, I believe, to the mounds of trash everywhere.  Be the unsung hero, pick it up yourself, and put it in the next available trash can.  Picking up a piece of trash you encounter doesn’t take much effort and benefits everyone.  It doesn’t matter what your walk of life is or whether someone else is there to witness it; bend over, do your part, and pick it up.  There is no harm in this, and it has the potential to help everyone.

Practice what you preach

Don’t advise others to do something you would never do yourself.  This is sound advice.  A decent human never steers another person the wrong way or pressures others into doing things he or she wouldn’t do personally.  This includes the “do as I say, not as I do” mentality.  It is best to lead through example.  I don’t mean doing something only if there is an audience but making something a part of your way of life.  Whether you know it or not, others take notice and can be inspired by your actions.

A little empathy goes a long way

We all have issues and personal problems, and we get wrapped up in our lives.  This is understandable.  It is, however, essential to remember that other people are also going through things.  Never forget to feel for others.  I am the type of person, for instance, who is moved to tears when a friend tells me of the death of a pet or family member.  I cry at movies.  I feel joy when someone tells me about something good that happened to them.  The list goes on. 

A big issue in my community right now is homelessness.  This is an issue that is close to my heart.  My husband and I lived in a tent for four years (read my blog, Best Practices for Successful Urban Camping).  We are housed today, but I still feel for those who are not.  It is now illegal to be homeless where I live, and people are being arrested and sent to jail because they don’t have a safe place to sleep.  In Grants Pass, Oregon, for instance, there is only one homeless shelter with limited beds and many hoops to jump through to stay there.  The city recently designated two vacant lots with no shelter from the elements and no grass, just hard ground, for people to camp on.  People can camp at each spot for no more than one week, and then they must move on.  One place is across the street from the police station, and the other spot has a watch tower, which the city just spent 29,000 dollars to build for law enforcement, so anyone camping at either spot is under constant scrutiny.  These conditions are no exaggeration on my part.  Google it yourself.  This is how Grants Pass treats their homeless; it is their policy to make it so uncomfortable and unpleasant to be homeless in this community that the homeless leave the area.  This sentiment is quite open in Grants Pass.  There is no empathy here.  No compassion.  People are being treated worse than animals.  This hurts my heart.  It angers me and makes me want to do what I can to better their situation.  I don’t have the means to house everyone myself, but I do have a voice and the ability to make myself heard whenever possible in the hope that someone with the means will listen to me and help these people.  This is empathy.

Say what you mean and mean what you say

Life is far too short for unnecessary word games or double-speak.  Speak plainly and clearly; don’t beat around the bush.  A person is only as good as their word, so speak your truth!  Say what you mean and mean what you say.  Don’t worry about what other people think about what you are saying.  They don’t have to listen if they don’t like your message.

This point isn’t just about voicing your opinion.  I am talking about matching words with actions, keeping promises, and practicing what you preach.  If you say you are going to do something, do it.  Not that hard.  Don’t confuse others by intentionally being vague or forcing people to read between the lines to grasp your meaning.  Say what you need to say and mean it. Do what you say you will do when making promises or offering your services to others and speak with transparency.  Nothing is worse than talking to someone with no conviction and whose words have no meaning because there is no action behind them (e.g., saying one thing but consistently doing something else).  We are only as good as our word.  I don’t want to be known as a liar or looked at as one who promises the moon and never delivers.  I want to be known as someone true to her word.  This is a desirable quality for a decent human being.

She who dies with the most toys still dies

Every facet of our society is founded on capitalism and greed.  The wealthiest people on the planet right now are trillionaires.  TRILLIONAIRES.  Then, there is everyone else.  I read once that the total global wealth amounted to 40 quadrillion dollars.  Divided evenly between everyone on the planet, this comes to 2.6 million dollars per person.  That is a lot of money.  However, this wealth is not evenly distributed but is controlled by 1% of the population, leaving the rest of us with very little.  A decent person isn’t controlled by greed.  I am happy with what I have.  There are things I want, of course, things I work to get. I will probably never be able to afford many of the things I want.  I accept this.  I am grateful for what I have today, and I will never forget those times when I lived off air alone.  A person can live with very little in the way of luxuries.  It is nice to have “stuff,” but “stuff” doesn’t define you as a person.  Owning everything doesn’t make you more “successful” and certainly doesn’t make you a better human being, especially with so much suffering in the world around you, suffering that could be eradicated if only you tossed some of your dragon’s hoard that way. I have news for you, sweetheart: you can’t take it with you, not really.  Sure, you can be buried with a bunch of stuff, but you can’t be buried with it all.  Sorry, it just doesn’t work that way.  A decent human being wouldn’t do this.  A decent human being would share the wealth.  A decent human being would help the less fortunate, making this a better world for everyone.

Conclusion

There is a lot of ugliness in the world.  I don’t have to be a part of it, and neither do you.  There are many things you can do to be a better person.  The points I mentioned in this post are just a few that came to mind when writing this.  This isn’t scripture, just one woman’s thoughts on what it means to be considered a decent human being.  None of these points will hurt anyone, to be sure.  They are here to help, no more.  So take what you want and leave the rest.  These words are my gift to anyone who wants to read them.